How to organize your wedding - from a wedding planner

I'm an OCD, type A wedding planner, but I'm here to tell you that organization is the key to enjoying your wedding day.  Without it, people will drive you NUTS with asking questions, needing help, wondering where to go and what to do.  After you've booked all your vendors, and have a good idea of how you'd like things to be setup, you'll need to organize your information.  If you thought that booking your vendors was enough to make a smooth wedding day, you're in for a rough day.  You have to set a plan for the wedding day, and communicate the same plan to all the vendors involved!  I  GUARANTEE what you told one vendor 4 months ago is not the same thing that you communicated to another.  It's ok.  That happens to everyone.  So here are 10 tips to organizing this information and getting vendors on the same page:

1.  TIMING IS EVERYTHING:

Your timeline is more than just "ceremony at 4pm, dinner at 5:30pm."  Your timeline should list the times that each vendor arrives on site for setup, when their contract for the night is over.  It should also list the times that each space needs to be ready for photos, and when YOU need to be dressed and ready for photos.  It should encompass all the food service "ready" times and also all the activities that you have planned:  speeches, cake cutting, garter toss, etc.  Once you have all of these items listed on a timeline, you can visualize how these times either work or don't.  You can see "oh crap, my cake person is coming at 4:00pm, but the florist leaves at 3:00pm. . .so I'd better make arrangements to have someone else put the floral arrangements on top of the cake!"  Once that timeline is down on paper, think about whether it makes sense or not, and then make the necessary adjustments to make it flow.   I will let you in on a little secret - the only time on the timeline that REALLY matters is the dinner time.  Who cares if you start your ceremony 15 minutes late?  As long as hot food is hot and cold food is cold, your guests will never know that you're running behind.  A timeline is helpful for organizing, but on the day of, your vendors will treat your timeline as a flow for the day - using it to formulate the order of events.

2.  WRITE IT DOWN:

I create what's called a "Banquet Event Order" for every event I put on.  After working as a Director of Catering in the hospitality industry, it's just something that's ingrained in me.  A "BEO" is like the bible for that day.  It lists setup notes, power needs, timelines, food & beverage orders, contact information, and more.    And it details all that information for each part of the wedding:  Ceremony, Cocktail Hour, Reception, Late Night, etc.  It's all on one document, and is typically about 5 pages long.  I sit down and I think of each part of each event as if I'm in the room, walking around.  Close your eyes and think:  what tables do I need?  What decor is going in there?  Are there any signs I need to put out?  If I'm serving food, which utensils will I need?  And so on, and so forth.  This document contains the written instructions for setting up your wedding day.  I send this out to vendors about 2 weeks before the wedding day, so they can make edits, and typically the edits they make are things can potentially could have caused a stressor on a wedding day.  Therefore, this document is KEY to a wedding's success.  Yeah, taking a few hours to write this all down is a major pain in the butt, but I promise it's worth it!

3.  MAP IT OUT:

I create maps for ALL aspects of a wedding day.  I frequently take Google Maps and screenshot the area, and mark where the cocktail hour, ceremony & reception will take place.  This helps make sure vendors drop rental items in the right spot, so you don't have to lug 200 chairs to a completely different location :)  I also make layout maps of the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception spaces.  It's important to make these to scale, so you know that all your tables & chairs will fit in the space!  It also helps you visualize the flow through buffet lines, and avoid bottlenecks in service.

4.  SKETCH IT:

I'm a visual person, so I draw out a lot of a wedding's elements.  I sketch how the tables will look with their chairs & linens, what centerpieces will look like, and any silverware or glassware on the tables.  I also sketch out each place setting (how I want the forks, knives, spoons, plates, napkins, glassware set out at each place setting.  That visual image makes sure that what I wrote on the BEO is actually what I want!  Just a "double check" of sorts.

5.  MAKE NOTES OF WHAT HAPPENS DURING TRANSITION TIMES:

So there's this time between ceremony & cocktail hour and between cocktail hour & reception where a lot of behind the scenes things take place.  During the first transition period, I'm often carting chairs from the ceremony to the reception tent (if my client didn't want to order a second set of chairs).  And sometimes large floral arrangements get repurposed from ceremony to reception.  And during the reception, it's smart to lock up the gifts.  Sometimes an entire bar needs to be moved from cocktail hour to the reception.  What I'm saying is, think about what happens during these transition periods, and assign people to each task.  That ensures it gets handled quickly, and no one feels like you were ill prepared.  People don't mind helping out at weddings, but it's a lot better if you plan for their help and they're anticipating it.

6.  INVENTORY EVERYTHING:

After my BEO is done, I can literally run through it and make a checklist of every single item that needs to be brought to the wedding - from flowers, to signs, to silverware, to clothing.  I make this document just because I'm responsible for every last element of the wedding day, and I don't want to forget anything when I'm on top of a mountain with no cell service!  The inventory should list the item(s) name, a quantity, a purpose (like cake table, or ceremony), and most importantly, WHO is bringing the item!  Once you've made this list, run back through all your rental orders and contracts with vendors, and make sure what you need is what you've put on hold.  Even as a professional event planner, it's this document that has saved my butt time and time again.  It not only tells me what to pack up after a wedding is over, but it helps me to rent the proper quantities of everything I need to pull off that dream event.

7.  COMMUNICATE:

If you've asked friends or family to help out on the wedding day, make it clear what their jobs are, and when they need to be ready.  For your bridesmaids, have a clear agenda for the wedding day, like "you're free in the morning until 10am, and that's when we start hair & makeup!  Please bring X items with you, as we'll be leaving directly from here to the ceremony.  And you'll need to be in your dress and ready by 2pm, for photos."  This clear communication keeps bridesmaids (and groomsmen) from wandering off or being late to any festivities.  

8.  MAKE A RAIN PLAN:

If you don't make a rain plan, it will rain on your wedding day.  If you DO make a rain plan, make it a strong enough plan that you know what time you'll need to make a decision by, and what that alternate plan is.  No one WANTS to have to use their rain plan, but if you have one, it's far less stressful than if you didn't make one!

9.  SONGS, FESTIVITIES & MORE:

Make sure you detail out your ceremony - which songs you want to play, what order people are walking in, how they're standing up at the front, etc.  What activities will you have during the ceremony?  A sand ceremony?  A special prayer or speech?  Don't just wing it - things run much smoother if you can practice a set plan.  Same goes for the reception - if you're having toasts, make sure to list the order in which they'll take place.  And list the songs you want for first dances, etc.   Think of your wedding day as a screenplay.  You need to know whose part is whose, and what they'll be doing.  If you approach things this way, it will run a lot smoother and your guests will appreciate it!

10.  DO NOT FORGET CLEAN UP:

At the end of the event, communication is key too.  I also see it time and time again that Uncle Joe decides that it's late (it's 9:30PM), and he's ready to leave.  So he starts cleaning up centerpieces, removing linens, and stacking chairs while all the guests are on the dance floor.  I don't know about you, but when I'm a guest at a wedding, and I come back and my table is cleaned up, without a linen, I feel like the party is over.  I hate that.   As a planner, I stop those folks and explain that clean up is my job!  If you have assigned someone to this task, make sure you don't ask someone who will want to start cleaning up well before the festivities have wound down.   And also make sure that those who clean up know what their jobs are.  If your cousin cleans up the cake table, and just folds cake crumbs and icing in the bag with the linen, YOU are the one who will be penalized for the mold that will surely grow in the next 2 days before the vendor washes them.  And it would be a shame if your  friends threw out all the flowers from the centerpieces, if you'd made alternate arrangements for them.  So always assign responsible people to your cleanup duties.

Happy planning!

So you're engaged. . .5 things you need to do right now

Congratulations!  You're engaged!  First of all, enjoy it!  Once you're ready to get started planning, here are the first steps:

1.  BUDGET.  If you have an unlimited budget, congratulations.  But most folks don't have that luxury.  You'll want to sit down and pencil out how much you comfortably want to spend, and how much family is giving you (if they are giving you something).  You don't have to know a headcount, and you don't have to know what things cost.  The most important thing is to come up with a budget that is comfortable to you.  No wedding should put you in debt.  EVER.  The average wedding in Montana, for an average number of guests is usually about $250 per person (to help you with your budgeting if you have no idea where to start!)

2.  PINTEREST.  We love Pinterest.  Like A-LOT.  We suggest you get on there and start pinning designs and ideas that exemplify your wedding style and what you think you want.  Type into the notes what you like about each image.  That helps your vendors understand your style.  But beware - we suggest pinning only in the first few months.  If you stay on there, and continue to pin, you'll snowball into adding more and more ideas to your wedding, costing you money.  Use the pinning as a communication tool with your vendors.  That's when it's most effective.

3.  GUEST LIST.  Come up with a rough list. . . but don't tell anyone who is on the list!  Sit down with your fiance, and each family, and get separate lists of guests they would like to invite.  Go through all your lists, and THEN decide who you want to invite.  Once you decide how many people you can accommodate, per your budget, you are ok to verbally tell people they'll be receiving an invitation.  But until then, tell your family to keep it under wraps!  A large guest count is the #1 reason for blowing through a budget, and it's easier to just not invite people than it is to go back and tell them they're un-invited!  

4.  HIRE A PLANNER.  Contrary to popular planner policy, I don't change my price based on what people have to spend.  I'm a flat rate, based on the size & scope of your wedding.  That means, I'm able to work with a variety of budgets.  So don't be afraid if your budget is teeny, or if it's huge! You CAN afford a planner no matter what!  And the rumors are true - I end up saving my clients money, which typically more than makes up my fee.  I just love to work with folks who know how many people they'll have, and what they want to spend.  It makes my job easy!  I step in and help finish up the designs, based on your pinterest board, and what your budget is.  And after that, we can start figuring out which vendors are best to accomplish the job for the right price.

5.  BOOK YOUR VENUE.  This is the biggest mistake I still see clients making.  Only AFTER you've done numbers 1-4 are you ready to book your venue.  We've had lots of clients who do this step first, because they're afraid to lose the space.  It never fails.  They always end up booking a venue that eats up a huge chunk of their budget.  If you don't do this for a living, you don't understand just how much money is needed for all other aspects of the wedding too.  Although your reception is typically 40% - 50% of your budget, the venue is only about 20% of that.  So we recommend taking a few days to figure out 1-4, and then take care of this step.

Money is often a senstivite subject in any relationship, whether you have very little or even if you have a lot.  My method of planning makes you talk about the not-so-fun activities right away (such as budget and guest list) to help relieve the stress that money can cause.  Entering into a marriage without debt is always my goal, and I've been very successful using this method.  I hope you find it helpful as well!

Every wedding has a budget.

HOW TO: Plan your wedding ceremony program

If you’re getting married in a church, the priest or minister or “church lady” are going to help you form the elements of your wedding ceremony.  This blog is meant for those brides who are having a non-denominational ceremony and really have to build it all themselves.  The easiest way is to think of this whole ceremony as a 20-30 minute script you’re writing.  It’s a choreographed theatrical event.  If you have a Justice of the Peace or hired Officiant run your ceremony, ask them which parts they typically cover.  You can usually incorporate more elements into the ceremony upon request, so don’t be afraid to ask!  Or if you’re having a friend marry you, this is a good list to begin building your ceremony with:

PRE-CEREMONY:  You’ll want music playing as guests arrive to the venue.  Silence is no Bueno!

SEATING GUESTS:  Typically, guests aren’t seated until shortly before the ceremony begins.  Ushers are VERY helpful in reserving seats, and ensuring the front rows of your ceremony are filled.

PROCESSIONAL (WEDDING MARCH):  This takes practice (do this at the rehearsal), but you need to decide how everyone will get to the front of the aisle.  This part is typically slower, controlled, peaceful.  Beautiful, emotional music is great, or even something with personally important lyrics.  This is the order:

• Officiant at the front of the ceremony, escorting the groom and best man, walk in from the side
• Mother & Father of the groom
• Mother of the Bride
• Bridesmaids (and Groomsmen, if escorting the bridesmaids, otherwise the groomsmen can walk in with the groom)
• Ring Bearer & Flower Girl
• Bride & Father of the Bride

BLESSING (GIVE AWAY):  Practice this at the rehearsal too.  The Father of the Bride (or whomever is “giving the bride away” should greet the groom, then literally hand her off to the groom.  This signifies you’re leaving her in good hands and you’re giving you approval!  The officiant will ask who gives the bride away, and the appropriate answer is “her mother and I.”

CONVOCATION (WELCOME):   This is explaining why we’re here today!  Just a quick welcome.

INVOCATION (OPENING BLESSING):  A short blessing of the wedding day.

SERMON (ADDRESS):  Often a story, or some words about the couple.  If you’re not going to do this element, this is a great place to substitute some custom elements, like:  Readings, Poems, Stories, Music performances, or custom elements (wine ceremony, sand ceremony, candle lighting)

CONSECRATION (DEDICATION BLESSING):  This is another small blessing following the sermon, to reiterate the words that were just spoken, and to bless the union.

DECLARATION OF INTENT:  Legally required!  The “I do” part of the ceremony.

VOWS:  You can find the standard vows online, or you can write your own!  Have your maid of honor or best man hold these for you – you have enough to remember on your wedding day, and getting put on the spot without your vows could be really stressful!

RING BLESSING:  Explains the purpose of exchanging rings

EXCHANGING OF THE RINGS:  The physical exchanging of the rings and the “repeat after me” part of the ceremony.

PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE:  Legally required also!  This is the “I now pronounce you man and wife” section of the ceremony.

THE KISS:  Doesn’t need a definition, but it should be discussed on how you’re going to do this part!  Practice so you’re not awkward and caught off guard, because this moment WILL be photographed!

BENEDICTION (CLOSING PRAYER):  This prayer sends off the new couple into their future with one another.

PRESENTATION:  The part where they say, "I'd like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. _______”

RECESSIONAL:  This is the order in which everyone leaves the ceremony.  This is the beginning of the celebration!  Upbeat, fun, exciting!  Frequently, bridesmaids are paired with groomsmen, and follow the bride & groom down the aisle.  Ushers would then help escort guests row by row, starting with the front  row and moving down the aisle, alternating sides.

COCKTAIL HOUR:  We always suggest some sort of a break between the ceremony and the reception, so you can get family pictures together!  If you’re doing a cocktail hour, make sure to inform your officiant, so he can announce where all the guests are to go!  The officiant typically does this after the wedding party has exited the ceremony. 

So your planner can plan. But what else can they do you for you?

What do you look for when hiring a wedding coordinator.  There should be 3 main things to consider:
1. Will I be able to work with this person efficiently (do our personalities mesh)?
2.  Be selfish.  What else can this person do for me?
3.  Is their price reflective of all they are doing for me?

At Events by Autumn, we're talented artists in addition to planners (we know, the whole right brain, left brain thing).  Autumn is a professional graphic designer and a skilled painter.  But even more importantly, Autumn can build things.  What kinds of things, you might ask?  Well, let me share just some of our portfolio below!  (We made everything you see below - paper flowers, invitations, wood products, painted signs, wooden crates, chalkboard art, painted bottles, large event props, etc.)

  

This brings us to step 3 of hiring a planner - does their price reflect all they can do for you?  With our full service package, the labor for building customized decor and props is completely included.  You only need to pay for the supplies.  And frequently, our brides already have the supplies on hand - they just don't have the time to make what they want.  A TRULY customized wedding, made just for you.

Keep that in mind when shopping other vendors.  What are they able to do to make your wedding a one-of-a-kind affair, while also providing professional planning?

Why hire a full service planner? Productivity, stress relief, and more.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of taking a full service client on an array of vendor meetings, and I thought this would be a great opportunity (while it's still fresh in my mind) to talk about this part of my planning services.  It's PERFECT for destination wedding clients, and even some of my local clients prefer for me to set up their vendor meetings for maximum efficiency, and because of my relationships with the vendors!

In this instance, both the bride and groom were from out of state, and so this weekend was the only time they'd be in Montana before the week of the wedding.  So it was vital over this 4 day period to introduce them to as many options as possible, but also give them time to explore, relax, and enjoy their time in Montana.  (We want our clients to still love Montana when they come back for their wedding!)

Over a 4 day time period, we managed to meet multiple caterers, florists, cake bakers, rental companies, and a photographer, DJ, hair dresser, and makeup artist.  We even found time to do site tours of hotels for room blocks, and managed to hit a few breweries to "sample" the potential wedding beverages!  My thoughts were that face to face interactions with these vendors would make the bride and groom much more comfortable with their decisions on whom to hire.

Every hour of every day was filled with activities and meetings, but the couple was relaxed and just enjoyed the days.  It wasn't stressful, because no decisions needed to be made on the spot.  I just want to make this very clear:  PLANNERS DO NOT MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOU.  They merely offer suggestions as to who might be able to provide the best services for what you want!  At one point in time, I was referred to as a "new member of the family" and that's the kind of relationship I hope for - that my clients trust me, can communicate with me freely, and never be fearful of giving me an honest opinion.  That's how the best weddings become the best!

I gave the Bride & Groom the itinerary a week before the trip, so they were able to plan lunches with friends, and take evenings off to explore or unwind.  We started at a reasonable time in the morning, so they could sleep in, eat a big breakfast, and treat their time as a vacation (which is what it was!)  

Keep in mind, all of my vendors are on speed dial, and it allows for the meeting schedule to be flexible if necessary.  Therefore, I was able to make quick adjustments - we even planned a menu tasting with a caterer 3 hours before it happened.  I think the bride & groom would agree with me, that the meetings ran seamlessly, and the vendors I chose to introduce them to were ideal for their style and budget.  

The key to success (I believe), was that prior to the meetings, I had worked with the couple on diagrams for the event space as well as some design boards.  Once I knew what look we were trying to achieve, we had a focused, common idea in mind for all of the meetings.

Setting up vendor meetings is included with my full-service planning packages, and I encourage brides to take me up on it.  Having diagrams and idea boards are great, but bringing your planner along to give suggestions, and ask questions makes your meetings very productive.

Happy planning!

Rental company meeting was a success!  We found this cool bar.

Sight seeing at St. Mary's Mission in Stevensville!

Tasting cake is one of my favorite things!