How do you know how much to spend on a wedding gift? Is there really an etiquette to it? We liked this article, so why re-invent the wheel! You can read the original article HERE.
By Mitch Lipka
(Reuters) - When you go to as many weddings as Stephanie
Wong does, you need to come up with some guidelines for gift-giving. During the
past two years, Wong, 32, who works in marketing for a book publisher in San
Francisco, has been to about a half-dozen weddings. She expects to attend three
more this year.
The amount Wong spends is all about her relationship to the
people getting married, how fancy the wedding is going to be and whether she
brings a date.
At a recent wedding of a close friend where she did a
reading and went alone, Wong gave the couple $300. At another wedding in her
social circle, she skipped the reception and gave $75.
As the wedding season gets into full swing, guests from
coast to coast are confronted with the same question: How much should you spend
and how should you give it?
THE ETIQUETTE
Wedding experts agree on a couple of things: the closer you
are to the bride or groom, the more you are expected to give, and do not give
more than you can afford just because of the expectations.
Defying the "cost-of-the-meal" school of
gift-giving, where guests give a gift roughly equivalent to what it cost to
host them, Kristen Maxwell Cooper, deputy editor of the wedding-focused website
TheKnot.com, says location and cost of the reception should not be the burden
of the guest.
She offers these guidelines to wedding-goers wherever they
might be: A distant relative or co-worker should give $75-$100; a friend or
relative, $100-$125; a closer relative, up to $150.
If you are wealthy, are you expected to inflate the gift?
No, Cooper says. "If they do, it's because they're just generous
people."
Meghan Ely, who has been in the wedding industry for a dozen
years, says it is reasonable to give on the lower end if you had to spend a lot
to get there.
And, she and Cooper agree, buying items off a registry,
where there is one, is a good idea.
"These days, couples are statistically older and more
established in their lives so when they register, they are truly asking for
things that they need," Ely says. "It really takes the guesswork out
of it for the guests."
That's about how it worked out for Melinda Parrish, a
30-year-old model from Washington, D.C. who got married last year in Annapolis,
Maryland. Her guests spent an average of $115 off her registry, and most of her
friends gave $50-$100. Some who had financial obstacles made gifts or framed
photos. One made a charitable donation in their name.
Most of all, she was surprised that about 40 of the 200
guests who attended gave nothing.
ALTERNATIVE REGISTRIES
Some experts note a trend of couples registering for various
elements of their honeymoon, including a night at a hotel, a dinner or an
evening of drinks.
It's a request that runs afoul of some, including Peggy
Newfield, founder of the American School of Protocol in Atlanta, who recently
attended a wedding where the bride and groom solicited unusual presents.
"You could check whether you wanted your gift to cover champagne on the
plane or in their suite at the hotel, their limo service, dinner in the
evening, or whatever," she says.
Her way of responding to the request: "We sent just a
congratulation card. There is no etiquette today that defines how crass our
society has become."
Cash has even taken a more modern twist - you can send a
monetary gift with your credit card. Websites like Tendr.com facilitate the
process (for a 5 percent cut of each gift).
The 4,000 gifts given in Tendr's just-completed first year
in business averaged $125 nationwide, the company says. Connecticut
wedding-goers were the most generous, with an average cash gift of $230.
(Editing by Lauren Young, Beth Pinsker and Andrew Hay)
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